I Used to Think Something Was Wrong With Me. Here's What I Found Out. - with David Hall

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or a big chunk of my life, I had a nagging feeling that sometimes I just didn't work the way other people did. Social situations that other guys seemed to cruise through would leave me needing to recharge. I'd prep for a speech by scripting the whole thing out, word for word, and reading it a dozen times — while other people walked up with three bullet points and owned the room. I'd check out of a party at 11:15 while everyone else was just kept cruising.

I'm an introvert. And I spent way too long thinking that was a problem to solve rather than a strength to understand.

That's why this week's episode of KneeToKnee hit close to home for me. I sat down with David Hall — author, podcast host, and one of the clearest thinkers I've come across on the subject of introversion — and we had the kind of honest, practical conversation I wish I could have had twenty years ago.

The Biggest Myth We Busted

People still use 'introvert' and 'shy' like they mean the same thing. They don't. Shyness is a social anxiety. Introversion is a personality orientation — specifically, it's about being a deep, internal processor. David put it simply: introverts think and then speak. Extroverts speak in order to think. Neither is better. They're just different operating systems.

The problem comes when the world is built around one style and people with the other feel like they're broken. David told me he spent years wondering why he couldn't just be easier in conversation, more spontaneous, more on. The turning point for him came when he got certified to give the Myers-Briggs and a facilitator gave him language for what he'd been experiencing his whole life. That moment of recognition — that's what changes everything.

The Neuroscience That Surprised Me

When I was preparing for our earlier episode on supporting your introvert spouse, I came across research that genuinely surprised me: the neural pathways in an introvert's brain tend to be longer than those in an extrovert's brain. Longer pathways mean more processing time. It's not a cultural preference or a social habit — it's biology. It's how the hardware is built.

David confirmed what the research points to: introversion isn't something that's going to change, and it shouldn't. But once you understand how you work, you can build strategies that actually fit your wiring instead of fighting it constantly.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

David blocks the first 90 minutes of his calendar every single day for uninterrupted thinking. Not email. Not meetings. Just space to process, plan, and be creative. As an introvert who needs time to think before he can produce his best work, that protected time isn't a luxury — it's a tool for doing good work.

My wife and I talked about this one after I got off the recording. She's an introvert too, probably more so than me, and she mentioned how she approaches parties — she gets into a small circle of people and asks questions, draws people out, lets them talk while she processes. At a big New Year's Eve gathering we went to recently, she put on a quiet masterclass in how to build genuine connections in a crowded room. I noticed it. I stepped away for a few minutes at 11:15 to sit on a staircase and recharge, and when I came back I was genuinely good again.

That's the thing — once you know how you work, you can actually show up.

The One Thing David Left Us With

At the end of every episode, I ask our guests for one thing — one action listeners can take before they reach their driveway. David's answer was this: think about what connections you already have. Are you happy with them? Which ones do you want to deepen? Pick one. Just one. And then decide how you're going to invest in it through the lens of your own personality.

Not through someone else's playbook. Yours.

That's a message I think a lot of guys need to hear — especially the ones who've spent years trying to be the loudest voice in the room when their real gift was always the depth of what they had to say.

If this one connected with you, share it with someone who's spent too long thinking there was something wrong with the way they're wired. And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode here: https://youtu.be/azYoK3Pxiwo