Building Healthy, Lasting Relationships in a Digital Age: Insights from My Conversation with Dr. Brian Willoughby

In today’s fast-paced and digitally driven world, building and maintaining healthy, lasting

relationships can feel like a daunting task. From the early stages of dating to long-term commitment, young adults face unique challenges that impact their emotional connections and social growth. Recently, on the KneeToKnee podcast, I had the privilege of sitting down with Dr. Brian Willoughby, a professor at Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life, to explore the science behind relationships and what it takes to cultivate meaningful bonds in modern society.

The Importance of Intention in Relationships

One of the biggest takeaways for me from our conversation was Brian’s emphasis on intention when it comes to relationships. He said, “In a culture where many messages say you don’t need human connection, people have to be counter-cultural by actively looking for relationships and prioritizing connection in their lives.” That really stuck with me because it highlights how easy it is to fall into passivity with all the digital distractions around us. Instead of waiting for relationships to just happen, Brian challenge us to be proactive, to seek out connection intentionally, and to invest time and energy into building emotional and social health.

The Enduring Benefits of Marriage and Commitment

Brian also shared powerful research on the benefits of marriage, which truly reinforced my own experiences. Despite the shifts we see in society, he pointed out that “there is still something unique and beneficial of committing and building a life with another person.” He said people who are married tend to be happier and live longer, and that message is so important to keep sharing, especially with youth who might otherwise feel skeptical about long-term commitment. Hearing that reaffirmed to me how powerful those emotional and health advantages are—and that there is a real, lasting value in building life together.

Technology’s Impact on Connection and Loneliness

We also talked extensively about the role technology plays in relationships today. On one hand, tools like AI and social media can help build connections or fill some emotional gaps. On the other hand, they carry the risk of increasing isolation and eroding real-world communication skills. Brian made the point that while technology can be helpful, it should not replace the rich, complicated, and deeply human process of developing trust and intimacy face to face. That balance is something to really consider.

Supporting Youth: The Role of Parents and Mentors

Brian emphasized how important parents and mentors are in helping the next generation cultivate healthy relationships. Teaching social skills early and being role models for meaningful interaction make a huge difference. He encouraged creating spaces where young adults can practice and build confidence—joining clubs, attending community events, and going to church. These “shared spaces,” as he called them, are vital for social growth, especially in a world where digital isolation is so common.

Final Thoughts: Choosing Connection

What I took away most strongly from this conversation is the power of choice: choosing to be intentional, to prioritize connection, and to embrace the benefits of commitment despite cultural challenges. By doing so, young adults can build stronger, healthier relationships, leading to better lives individually and collectively.

If you want to dive deeper, Brian’s book "The Millennial Marriage" is a fantastic resource: Dr. Willoughby's book "The Millennial Marriage": https://amzn.to/48md1fI

To watch the full episode: https://youtu.be/D-DlcJzIOSg

This is my personal reflection on Brian Willoughby insights he shared, meant to inspire and encourage anyone looking to build lasting, meaningful relationships in our modern world.