The Day Someone Saw Her Under the Blanket: Lessons on Authentic Human Connection with Julie De Jesus

Some conversations stick with you long after the mics are off. My recent chat with Julie De Jesus was one of those. She shared a raw, life-changing story that perfectly illustrates why authentic human connection isn't just nice to have—it's life-saving. And in today's chaotic world, it's exactly what we need more of.

Julie opened up about hitting rock bottom at 21, when toxic leadership at work triggered her first panic attack in a bathroom stall. What started as anxiety spiraled into deep depression. She found herself curled up on her sister's downstairs couch—complete with the chaos of five kids' worth of dried oatmeal and boogers—pulling a blanket over her head, convinced she'd never come out. "I'm done," she thought. Failure felt final.

Then her phone rang. It was Carrie, a compassionate leader who'd already stepped in to move Julie to a healthier internship placement through Brigham Young University. Carrie left a voicemail: "Julie, I heard what happened today. We're going to do this one day, one hour, one minute at a time if we have to, but we're going to get you back up on your feet."

The next morning, Julie was putting on mascara through tears and heading back to work. She never left early again. That moment of being truly seen didn't fix everything overnight—she still needed counseling and medication—but it pulled her out from under that blanket and changed her trajectory forever.

Hearing Julie tell that story reminded me of why I started KneeToKnee: to share insights and real experiences that help us navigate life's messiness. Julie's journey led her to start the "I See You" podcast (now over 100 episodes strong), write her book ‘I See You: How Compassion and Connection Save Lives’, and even create a children's book called ‘Broccolipunzle: A Girl with Extraordinary Hair’ to teach kids about seeing others with compassion. Now, through her company I See You Living, she hosts women's groups, events, and affiliate products all rooted in human connection—because, as she points out, without it, mental health in America is plummeting.

Why Authentic Connection Builds Loyalty (and Saves Companies)

I asked Julie how authentic human connection ties into employee engagement, retention, and health. Her answer? It's everything. From her experience, when a leader like Carrie sees you as a full human—not just a worker—the impact is profound. Julie said, "When you see me, I'll follow you." She'd work for less, relocate, whatever—because Carrie prioritized her well-being over everything else.

Julie described how on one particular day Carrie came to evaluate how things were going. She came to observe Julie’s internship presentation, slid the rubric aside, grabbed her hand, and asked, "How are you doing?" At that instant, college credits and performance metrics didn't matter. Staying alive and finding hope did. It's no wonder research shows 75% of job stress comes from the boss-employee relationship. Flip that to genuine connection, and you get loyalty that money can't buy.

Julie shared here three pillars:

The Three Pillars of "I See You"

Julie's research boiled down to three core feelings that foster unbreakable bonds:

- I See You: Acknowledging someone as a whole person, struggles and all.

- I Appreciate You: Valuing their unique contributions.

- I Trust You: Building reciprocity—giving help but also being vulnerable enough to receive it.

That last one is key. Leaders often excel at giving direction but struggle with asking for help or sharing failures. Julie nailed it: "We're all still little kids inside." (She has two kids, 9 and 10, and jokes about the miracle of keeping them alive.) Imposter syndrome hits everyone—even keynote speakers like her who started as second-grade teachers. But showing vulnerability? That's what makes you relatable and sparks innovation.

I can relate. Hosting KneeToKnee has been eye-opening. I've had moments of "What am I doing?" But I lean into it: I'm not the expert; I'm the guy bringing in folks like Julie who've done the deep work. As she said, you don't need a celebrity story to make an impact—just relatable experiences backed by research.

Five Practical Strategies to Start Connecting Today

Julie didn't hold back on actionable advice. Whether you're a leader, mentor, parent, or friend, here are five things you can do right now:

1. Use First Names: Say "Thank you, Julie" instead of just "Thank you." Brain science shows it lights us up and boosts engagement.

2. Make Eye Contact: Post-COVID, this basic skill needs re-teaching. Turn on your camera in virtual meetings—seeing faces adds humanity.

3. Ask for Help: Leaders, flip the script. Model receiving to build trust.

4. Share Failures: Talk about screw-ups and how you recovered. It motivates more than polished perfection.

5. Give Credit Liberally: Gratitude rewires the brain for positivity. Highlight strengths, and watch retention soar.

   
   

As Julie put it, "Gratitude begets momentum." These aren't vague ideas—they're backed by her research and real results.

Wrapping Up: Be the Carrie in Someone's Story

Talking to Julie reinforced something I've seen in my own life and career: We're all middle schoolers at heart, reacting to the world with that mix of insecurity and hope. (Shoutout to previous guest Joseph Cope for that insight.) The world feels chaotic, but voices like Julie's—and podcasts like KneeToKnee—remind us that connection is the antidote.

If her message resonates, check out her work:

- I See You: How Compassion and Connection Save Lives  https://amzn.to/4poterY

- Broccolipunzle: A Girl with Extraordinary Hair https://amzn.to/3MhI84E

- Speaking and training: https://iseeyouleadership.com/

- Community and events: https://www.iseeyouliving.com/

- Podcast: "I See You" https://www.youtube.com/@iseeyouliving

Julie, thanks again for joining me on a Saturday morning. Your story about Carrie isn't just inspiring—it's a blueprint for how we can all pull someone out from under the blanket.

If you haven't listened to the full episode yet, catch it here  https://youtu.be/pPVMgGh6yUg.

And tune in for more KneeToKnee guests sharing insights that matter.

Let's be the ones who see each other.