The Leadership Conversation That Changed How I See Connection with Ty Bennett

Twenty years. That's how long I've known Ty Bennett. And until last week, we hadn't spoken in a decade. But when our mutual friend Julie kept mentioning his name during a recording session, something clicked. I picked up the phone, and just like that, we were back—Knee to Knee—talking about what really matters in leadership.

Ty is the founder of Leadership Inc., a bestselling author, and someone who's spent 15 years traveling the world helping leaders build trust and influence through storytelling. His latest research project on high performance will become his fifth book, Redefining High Performance, which comes out next year. But what struck me most about our conversation wasn't the accolades or the research—it was the simplicity of what actually works.

We started talking about storytelling. Ty wrote an entire book on it called The Power of Storytelling, and you can see his passion for it immediately. But what I didn't expect was how vulnerable he'd be about his early failures. In his twenties, Ty and his brother started a direct sales business. He was 21, looked about 12, and couldn't figure out why nobody would buy from him.

Then a mentor gave him advice that terrified him: "Go ask the last five people who said no why they rejected you."

Can you imagine? Going back to people who turned you down and asking them to explain what was wrong with you? Ty did it anyway. All five people said the same thing: "You're too young."

Armed with that uncomfortable truth, Ty crafted a story. When he'd sit down with potential clients—people older, more successful, and more experienced than him—he'd acknowledge the elephant in the room. "I kind of feel like a young Bill Gates," he'd say. People would laugh, caught off guard. Then he'd remind them that Bill Gates was 19 when he dropped out of school and told everyone he'd put a personal computer in every home. People probably thought he was nuts. "I'm not saying I'll be as rich as Bill Gates or change the world the same way," Ty would continue, "but I do know I have something here. I'm just asking you to take a serious look. Is that fair?"

That story—told thousands of times—built a multi-million dollar business in his twenties.

It's a powerful reminder that connection isn't about pretending problems don't exist. It's about naming them, honoring them, and inviting people to see past them.

We moved into something Ty's been researching lately: the shift from hierarchical leadership to partnership leadership. He wrote a whole book on it called Partnership Is the New Leadership. The core idea is simple—when you see your team as partners instead of subordinates, everything changes. You connect with them as people first, not as tools to get a job done. You build trust. You raise both standards and connection at the same time.

He introduced me to a concept he calls "empathic drive," which is the balance between ambition and empathy. A lot of leaders are incredibly driven, results-oriented, and ambitious. That's great. But without empathy, you run people over. You burn them out. On the flip side, empathy without boundaries becomes people-pleasing. You lower standards, carry everything yourself, and eventually collapse under the weight. The balance—empathic drive—lets you push forward while staying connected to your team.

Ty shared a story that illustrates this perfectly. He owns a couple of Ninja Warrior gyms in Utah. One of them, in Sandy, was purchased from a woman who was completely checked out. The business was mismanaged, and she was ready to just close the doors. When Ty was deep into the purchase process, she called him in a panic. "All my workers are leaving on August 11th," she said. "They're going back to school."

Ty knew something didn't add up. School didn't start that early. So he went to the gym and asked the staff directly: "What's going on?"

They were honest. "We won't work for her anymore. We're all leaving that day."

But when they learned Ty was taking over? "If you guys are buying it, we'll stay."

That simple act of showing up, being real, and connecting with them solved the entire problem. Ty still held them to standards—he made it clear the gym needed to look better—but he did it from a place of partnership, not hierarchy. The staff stayed. The sale went through. And the relationship became the foundation of the business.

I couldn't help but think about Ty's research statistic: 40% of working Americans have left a job to follow a boss they liked somewhere else. More than 40% have left a company they liked because of a boss they didn't.

People don't leave companies. They leave leaders.

But here's the practical gem Ty left me with—something anyone can do today. He calls it the Rule of Two. Whenever someone shares something about themselves, ask at least two questions before you talk about yourself.

It sounds so simple, but think about how often we hijack conversations. Someone tells you a story, and it sparks a memory in your mind, so you jump in. Before you know it, you've taken over. The message you're sending—unintentionally—is "We're done talking about you. Let's talk about me."

The Rule of Two forces you to pause. To validate. To dig deeper. To show genuine interest before making it about you. Ty admits he's not perfect at it—none of us are—but it's a framework that keeps you focused on connection.

Commonality builds connection, sure. But actual focus on the other person builds deeper connection.

As we wrapped up, I thought about how much has changed in 20 years—and how much hasn't. Ty and I could have stayed out of touch forever. But that one phone call brought us back together, Knee to Knee, talking about what matters: how we show up for people, how we lead with empathy and ambition, and how we tell stories that open doors instead of closing them.

Leadership isn't about being the smartest person in the room. It's about making everyone else feel seen, valued, and capable of their own greatness.

And sometimes, it starts with just asking two more questions.

To catch the complete episode go here: https://youtu.be/henqXfL_pK4